Public sex can be one of the most exhilarating ways to add spice to your love life. It can also lead to some embarrassing situations, or worse- trouble with the law. Sex in public is technically illegal, so be sure you and your partner understand the consequences before you’re in too deep. Don’t let these things stop you, however- the danger is half the fun.
Here are 4 of the best places in New York to have public sex
1. Central Park
Any park will technically work, but Central Park is your best bet for getting it on in a somewhat secluded setting (we wouldn’t recommend trying this in Tompkins or Union Square, for example, unless you want to explain to the boys in blue that you’re practicing for a tryout at The Box, or something). We recommend the Shakespeare Garden, a hidden gem tucked between the Belvedere Castle and The Swedish Cottage. There usually aren’t many people in the garden, and if you venture off the beautiful, flower-lined paths to one of the many concealed benches you have a great chance for extended alone time. Be warned, though- the Shakespeare Garden is a popular choice for summer time weddings, so make sure to scout ahead before you drop trou.
2. The Roof
The best bet for beginners, the roof is perfect for those who aren’t sure they can handle being an exhibitionist. Once the sun goes down your peeping tom neighbors will be hard pressed to see anything, even if you live on a building that’s lower than those surrounding it. For the more adventurous, a broad daylight roof-fuck is the perfect way to get your daily vitamin D intake. Reading while tanning is great and all, but if you change positions often enough you’ll get a nice, even bronze tone. No tan lines!
3. Fitting Rooms
A New York Pudding employee who will remain unnamed shares this sordid experience from recent expedition to SoHo.
“My girlfriend and I went shopping in SoHo this past weekend and got bored of trying on clothes, so I pulled her into the dressing room at Hugo Boss and she went down on me. All the sales people knew what was going on, but no one interrupted us. After I finished and we cleaned up, we walked out like nothing had happened. Some of the attendants gave us dirt looks, but none of them said anything. Needless to say, we’re definitely going to make Hugo Boss a regular stop on our shopping excursions.”
4. The Subway
This is the most dangerous, and potentially most exciting option. If you’re going to attempt a subway quickie, it’s best to wait until the wee small hours of the morning, but before bars close (3AM or so). Ideally your female companion will be wearing a skirt, so you can skip the belt buckle/underwear hassle. You also have to pick your train carefully. Express routes are best, since once you find an empty subway car you’ll be less likely to be interrupted by new riders. We recommend the F train between 57th street and W 4th. Often the only riders late at night are too drunk (or too passed out) to notice anything. Just be careful- you don’t want to end up like these two.
That about wraps it up. This list is only a primer- literally anywhere has the public sex potential (back of a taxi cab, anyone?) Your only limits are your imagination and your libido. So go forth, be bold, and please, remember to clean up after yourself.
By Devin Smith