We always hear about who the best looking athletes are, but rarely do we focus on who are the ugly ones. That is where I come in. I excel on focusing on the negative and what better way than giving you the 5 ugliest athletes in New York. I am not including coaches, so Rex Ryan’s fat ass does not make the list. Additionally, I am not including any former or retired New York athletes. This list only has players who are currently on the roster of a New York sports team.
There is a mathematical formula which defines beauty and the perfect face; these 5 do not have it.
5- Justin Turner- Mets
The combination of long dirty red hair and a disgusting red vagina strap on his face are enough for me to put him on the list.
4. Mark Teixeira- Yankees
There is too strong of a resemblance between Teixeira and Herman Munster.
3. Jared Jeffries- Knicks
The skinny head and big ears do not go well together. He also makes nonstop stupid looking faces, only making him more unattractive than he already is. His basketball game is the clincher because when you watch it, all you think about is ugly.
2. Renaldo Balkman- Knicks
Some might be wondering who the hell Renaldo Balkman is. He was part of the Carmelo Anthony deal (the part nobody discussed). Balkman has a face only his mother can love. The dirty looking dreadlocks, Scottie Pippen nose, and countless amounts of tattoos all over the body get him up to the 2 position in ugliness.
1. Bartolo Colon- Yankees
Talk about a fat mess. He looks like a mix between an umpa lumpa and Shrek. He has no neck and man breast; never a delightful combination. He could be Rex Ryan’s double buddy. I also noticed how disgusting his face was when pitching against the Mets last week. He used to have more facial hair which covered up the ugliness, but that is all gone because of the Yankees no facial hair rule. They should probably make and exception for Colon. The constant sweating puts him over the top and makes him number 1.
By Robert Bonanni